Guidelines (By Pamela S. Stevens)

Open communication is extremely important. The real dangers of the Internet need to be discussed and your child’s possible frustration and resistance to these conversations may need to be addressed as well. Open dialogue is necessary and despite your fear or aggravation, your desire to express your anger should not extend to the point that your child is afraid to talk to you if something does happen.

Setting Boundaries You and your children, after discussing the dangers and benefits of the Internet, should set some clear boundaries. Keep in mind that boundaries may differ depending on the age of the child, their level of maturity and their willingness to communicate uncomfortable subjects with you. If your child is unenthusiastic about having open conversations with you, they are certainly less likely to talk you if something happens to them online.

Beyond family or individual rules, there are some general guidelines for all Internet users:

• Never give out personal information, including name, address, school or employment, telephone or cell number, personal email address or pictures to someone you do not know personally.
• Never respond to solicitations or comments that make you uncomfortable.
• Never make arrangements to meet someone you have met online. Adults who want to meet people they have met online, should arrange to meet in a public place and with current friends.
• Never believe everything you read in a profile, on a message board or in a chat. Often, people pretend or role–play, either for entertainment, to hide or for other ulterior motives.
• Never submit your personal information or credit card data to an unsecured site.

Outside of the general guidelines, there are other things to consider for your children, such as:

• How long, when and under what circumstances can your children use the Internet?
• What sites are they allowed to visit?
• What content is off limits?
• What kind of communication is allowed, e–mail, chat, IM, etc?
• What are your kid’s privacy rights?
• What should your child do if they experience something that makes them uncomfortable?
• What happens if the rules are violated?

After you have established some well–understood guidelines, you should still monitor your kid’s Internet activity. Although it is normal for kids to get into a little mischief, such as chatting with their friends when they are supposed to be doing homework, they could also be getting into real trouble. Here are a few warning signs that your kid could be getting into a real dilemma:

• Excessive Internet use
• You find pornography or explicit material on their computer
• Your child receives mysterious phone calls, emails or text messages
• Your child receives mail or gifts from someone you don’t know
• They are withdrawn, anti–social or avoid talking with you
• Your kid quickly changes the screen when you come in the room
• You child uses an Internet account that is not their own
• They cannot or will not tell you about their online acquaintances
• They cut school to get online or sneak on in the middle of the night